Attention Kmart crooks

It's quite an experience to visit Kmart these days. Most of the stores are on the old side and need "refreshing." In fact, most of the customers could use refreshing themselves.

Today I visited to pick up some video cassettes, a useful tool for those of us unwilling to spend the money to join the DVR revolution which was fought and won around the time of World War II, it seems. One of the characters spotted along the way was a guy with a Bills' logo tattooed on the front of his neck. I had the odd urge to say, "What did the Bills ever do for you to justify that?" but resisted.

When I was finished paying for the cassettes at the checkout register, I started to go to my car when a guy behind me practically ran over me to head for the front doors. Based on a look at his neck, he wasn't a Bills' fan. At first I just thought, well, another odd guy at Kmart. Then our shopper got to the door, where he was greeted by not one, not two, but four security guards.

"We are asking you about the unpurchased items you have in your clothing. If you cooperate with us, we will not call the police," the head security guard said.

The shopper started to mumble something without making a whole lot of sense. The rules were repeated. I started to try to figure out a way to escape, since our pal looked capable of odd behavior (you never know when he might seek out a hostage). Before getting out the other door, though, there was a small shakedown of his pockets. Suddenly, there were candy bars and jewelry falling out of his pockets and landing on the floor. The discount shopper tried to say that jewelry wasn't sold at Kmart, but he lost that argument pretty quickly. Jewelry and candy bars? There's an interesting combination to steal.

I was let out the other door to the comparitive safety of the parking lot. Can't say I've ever seen that sort of incident at a store before, but I'm a little surprised that the guy was offered a plea bargain right off the bat.

Too bad I'll never know how the story ended. And neither will you.

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